COVID-19 and Faith
I got laid off today…
Today was supposed to be a good day. I woke up feeling good. I’d been meditating, praying, and leaning in on my faith. I spent some quality time with my baby boy, and then I clocked in to work. I was feeling energetic, smiling a lot. I had two work meetings scheduled for today. Each an hour apart. One was a jurisdictional training, and the other was titled, “COVID-19 Updates”. I received a text message an hour before reminding me of the meeting. Throughout my time working for the company, I’d never received a text message reminding me about meetings. Despite this, I thought nothing of it. I was simply expecting an update on the current status of the company and how the virus was affecting things.
It was a Skype meeting. I clicked the link, and called in. The meeting organizer did role call for everyone, this took 3x as long as the meeting itself. The actual meeting lasted for 2 minutes, 45 seconds. The meeting was clearly scripted, he sounded like an automated message you’d hear after getting forwarded to someone’s voicemail. His “script” stated how the company had a significant decrease in reservations and how this is a very difficult time for them. He then proceeded to explain how we would need to clock out and not work until further notice. He stated, “You should qualify for unemployment, I’d look into that”. He ended the meeting with “effective immediately”.
Ouch. A month prior, I was on the “Billing Matrix” as one of the top billers in the office. A few months prior to that, I received recognition for being one of the top Billers in North America. Now, here I am months later, laid off. Stuck wondering, “why me” and “what next”? Already fighting to stay afloat in the midst of this crisis, I’ve now found myself wondering how I’m going to pay bills and survive. What are we expected to do when faced with a life altering event? Fight or flight, right? Should we sit and pity ourselves, or rise up?
I’ve been working night and day on building a business for myself, while also trying to give 100% at working a full-time job. I’ve been asking the Universe to work in my favor, to make the life I dream of a reality. After being told I would be out of work, I cried, and then I got angry. And then I stopped. I stopped to think, and process what had just happened. Nights before I was inviting God to “shake up my life” and walk me into my destiny. Now here I am feeling like my faith was slapping me in the face and laughing at me. But this is what I prayed for right? “If it’s not within your will Lord, then take it away”, those were my exact words, a few nights before.
Moral of the story, lean into your faith, don’t let go in the time of crisis. That’s when you’re supposed to lean in even more. Pray harder, ask for answers and guidance. What may seem like hell on Earth, may just be God opening the floodgates of Heaven at your doorstep. Let him in. Welcome him. Practice gratitude. No matter how difficult life gets, remember to be grateful for what you have, and for what’s to come. No, this is not ideal, I’m faced with a heap of bills that will need to be paid somehow. However, I’m calm; at ease. I know that God will provide, and I know the beauty that comes after the storm.
Be grateful and keep your faith. Sometimes, it’s all we have.
Originally published at https://not-so-perfect-mama.com.
